When people think pursuing your dreams is a waste.
My cousin made a decision to leave her stable job she had for a decade in one of the government’s ministries to pursue a five-year degree in Vet Science, which is a life-long dream of hers. This is a courageous decision, taking into consideration that she is already in her mid-thirties, and it is not easy for anyone to leave a comfort zone, not to mention she is a typical, pragmatic Capricorn. I applaud her. I seem to be the one of the very few in the family to be doing so, because the typical reaction was, “What a waste!”.
What is exactly a waste?
Apparently to my typical, conservative Singaporean family, leaving a comfortable, safe job that pays well, especially after being in it for a decade, is an absolute waste. It is sad for me, because these people do not know how to appreciate life beyond comfort and security.
How can pursuing one’s dream be ever deemed a waste?
I could not help but retort, which is more of a waste?
1. To lie on your deathbed with millions in the bank, but wondering what it could have been? To have lived a stable, safe existence but never knew how it felt to pursue your dreams?
2. Or to lie on your deathbed, penniless, but fully satisfied that you have given your all to make your own dreams come true?
The Singaporean mentality
I cannot fault them for having this mentality because this was what they were taught to believe. The safe, comfortable route. The moment one begins an education in Singapore, we were led to think that nothing else but grades matter, and once we left the system, we were then led to think that nothing else but career stability and prestige matter.
I was brought up to think that pursuing your dream is naive. That it only happens in books and movies, and we should never attempt to try. That one will be unable to survive in Singapore without a tertiary degree, and parents get worried when their child exhibits signs of being creative, because that would be the last thing they want their child to do, secretly wishing their child would love numbers instead.
People would enrol in the local universities for courses they had zero interest in, because only the top students got into the courses they wanted, and the rest have to settle for anything, anywhere in the Uni, because even if you voluntarily choose to study for a technical diploma instead, people would just assume that you were not good enough for the Uni, and not because there’s nothing at the Uni that interests you.
That was how it was like for us born in the 1970s and the early 1980s. The kids now have a different set of issues. Parents now are enrolling their kids in all kinds of ‘enrichment’ courses because the Government decided that they want to develop Singapore into a ‘creative hub’.
I do not want to judge the Government because Singapore, being a tiny dot on the map without any natural resources, might not have survived without having the herd mentality.
On hindsight, I am truly blessed and guided, because somehow even when it got really difficult for me, I did not opt for the safer route. I actually tried to, because it was just so tiring going against the flow, but I felt so sick that it was just impossible for me to carry on.
Dedication
This post is dedicated to my dearest cousin, whom I spent most of my formative years with, because despite all the odds stacked against her, despite all the objection from the people she loves, she wants to pursue her dream.
She will leave her comfort zone, to learn how to live independently for the first time in her life in unfamiliar territory, and be away from the people whom she loves and who loves her, because she knows she has a greater purpose in her life and she needs to fulfil it.
Which is to do her part and her best for the animals she deeply loves.
Despite that I am proud of myself for following my heart as much as I can, I am not sure if I would have the same courage as she did. Thus, she deserves my deepest admiration, support, and love.
For those of you out there, if you have a dream, pursue it. You really would not want to be the rich, grumpy old person on your deathbed, never knowing how it feels to live the dream.
Ben
left some thoughts on December 17th, 2008 12:41 am
An inspiring post, my sentiments are exactly the same. I have seen so many people working jobs they hate, they won’t leave because it is “stable” or “secure”. I think I read somewhere – if you want maximum security, the prison is the best place to be. Lol. I also have one friend who studied in Uni but decided to quit and pursue a diploma in design at TP instead. Her parents were disappointed but look who’s laughing now. Even if you fail at least you tried, you only have one lifetime, so start putting value into it.
Stan
left some thoughts on December 17th, 2008 9:44 am
Hello. I think your post is an echo of the thoughts that many people have inside their head. Just based on conversations I’ve had with friends, I think there are many people out there who would absolutely love to just pursue their dreams, passions etc. However many singaporeans are such a pragmatic lot that those who really dare to pursue their dreams lie in the minority.
The herd mentality well, blame it on the environment that we grew up in but I believe it’s NEVER too late to do anything. :)
Pythito
left some thoughts on April 12th, 2009 2:33 pm
hmm.. bookmarked )
Sarina
left some thoughts on April 20th, 2009 10:42 pm
Wow, finally someone who thinks the same way as I do. I’m 18 and currently doing 2 year, engineering in SP. I chose it because i thought that i would be able to get a stable job for myself and also support my family in future. But when i thought about it, that’s a waste. After years of searching, i realised my true passion is music. But as you know here in Singapore, it’s almost impossible. Even if i want to pursue it after im stable, how old would i be by then. I don’t want to disappoint my parents, but at the same time, my passion is burning. Alot of my friends are too. Maybe one day, ill have the courage to do what your cousin had done.
Vinnie
left some thoughts on March 21st, 2011 7:13 pm
Great post, I agree on following your dreams and passions and not the career that may provide finically stability but little other rewards.
This is a mindset I hope to help change for any conservatives in the SG tech community with http://www.shdh.sg – I’ve been pleasently surprised with the level of creativity and risk taking that I’ve seen so far.
How’s your cousin doing a year and a half later?
dl
left some thoughts on March 28th, 2011 2:43 pm
not really sure of the term “safe job” nowadays, especially after seeing many of those in the ranks of “safe job” losing it overnight through the stories of remorse for not pursing what they desired deep down – only when its too late.
To quote (an advice shared by someone whom many would considered the last person to quote the following advice):
“they just told me my service is no longer required…well that’s corporate life for you….”