Happy birthday, Singapore – with gratitude but not love.
Growing up in my home country feeling like a misfit, it is indeed difficult to express any sort of patriotic love. For never once I have truly felt like a child of this country, I have never felt loved nor accepted.
I had felt no sense of belonging and instead trapped, bound by the location of my birth. I was angry with the lack of choices available for my education, the restriction of speech that I should have, the lack of tolerance for diversity in a country that boasts of being multi-racial.
Yet as I grow older and as my horizons widened (still rather narrow, unfortunately but am trying to correct that), I am increasingly grateful for what this country has given – security, stability and freedom. Yes, freedom, though not in the idealistic sense, but the freedom of choices still exists and we do not realise how much freedom we have, until we look beyond and out of what we’ve taken for granted all this while.
I am grateful that I feel safe roaming the streets of Singapore, I am grateful for our transportation system, I am grateful that that I can have clean water to brush my teeth with.
However, it makes me extremely grateful, that having the privilege of being born a Singapore citizen, I do not have to undergo female circumcision, systems with racial quotas (apart from buying a hdb flat), or risk getting stoned to my death if I was ever unlucky enough to be a victim of a sexual assault.
I am sorry to be such a wet blanket in a celebratory mood but I wish to remind myself and all of us, the sort of freedom we have, and to a certain extent, the social responsibility we have as the younger generation to protect the harmony and rights most of my peers are born with but these were not given to us without a fight by our forefathers.
I am also sorry, that I love the foreigners that are now running riot in this country and are supposedly taking our jobs away. We’re proud of being a multi-racial country for a reason, that reason being we had a diverse range of ancestors. Before taking a swipe at that foreign person, perhaps we may want to recall if our grandfathers were ‘truly Singaporean’ in the first place.
On this day I hope and pray that the younger generations will grow up to not only tolerate diversity but to embrace it. I hope in an idealistic manner that misfits like me will come to be accepted one day, that there will come a time that we will enjoy greater freedom of speech and less media censorship.
Perhaps I will come to fall in love with this country one day, perhaps I won’t. Maybe I’ll find a better environment for myself, just like many of the others coming to Singapore in search for a better home. I will still remain grateful. For despite all the difficulties I’ve faced being a Singaporean, it is undeniable that I still have the basic rights as an individual to dictate my fate.
Happy birthday, Singapore. I wish to love you from the bottom of my heart but I still find it difficult to. I am very grateful anyway, thanks for what you’ve given me all these years.
Teo Mei Wan
left some thoughts on August 10th, 2010 5:42 pm
Your thoughts about Singapore reminds me of a mother who does her duty by her children, feed, clothe, educate, provide for them, yet failed to engage the heart of the child. How is this so? Children are self- absorbed creatures, this is how nature fashions them, to ensure their survival. One day, when you become a mother, perhaps you will understand why you felt this way about your mother country
I wish you happiness n good relationships in the future
Winnie L.
left some thoughts on August 10th, 2010 6:00 pm
Hi, thanks for your comment and I appreciate any perspective, even though if they differ from mine.
I have seen and known plenty of mothers or fathers who are able to engage the hearts of their children and I don’t agree with you that children are self-absorbed creatures. Relationships are two-way streets. You love the child unconditionally, the child senses this and loves you back unconditionally. Same for the country. Unfortunately, some parents love their children with conditions. We are afraid to admit this, but many of us do not have the capacity to demonstrate that unconditional love for a child. To love your child whether he/she fails or survives in the system and making sure your child knows this.
I doubt that I will be a mother, because honestly, I don’t think I have that capacity to love my child unconditionally. If I cannot love my work, my children, my country with all my heart, I wouldn’t attempt to. Because love with conditions is not love.
Teo Mei Wan
left some thoughts on August 11th, 2010 7:59 pm
Thanks, Winnie, like yourself, I appreciate getting to know the perspectives of others which differ from mine
I believe some people will find it easier to love others, and as you say, since love (& relationship) is two-way street, these people will be loved by others in return. There are those who may have higher expectations of those deserving and worthy of their love, so they have to look harder around to find those who deserve to be loved. To me, love can be spontaneous, or gradual. We can learn to love someone or something if we set our heart to it.
As the saying goes: if we cannot have what we love, we must learn to love what we have.To feel grateful is indeed a mark of a thinking person, good and noble. Who knows, love will come in due course. Do not be afraid to love, little by little is also ok in my view
May
left some thoughts on May 28th, 2012 12:31 pm
Stumbled across this post today and I’m glad I did.
Your words are written beautifully and it must be dilemmatic to be feeling ignorance of your own country.
I love in Singapore, and I am a foreigner. I must say, this is not my last harbor, and all the reasons all stated above. In the other hand, I love my country, Indonesia, but i don’t have what your country has, safety, security, good transportation, and all the five stars govt service.
It’s ironic, isn’t it. But I learn something that nationality is something that we were born with.
Love your last paragraph anyway. :)
Keep writing!